Sometimes it takes years to realize truly how toxic certain people in your life have been. Some people are straightforward while others have deep hidden secrets and they will go to any lengths to keep those secrets hidden because what they have done is criminal. What is the best way to openly and happily lead your life when you havé secrets? It is by having people’s backing so that the person who is on the outside can be cornered and bullied into silence.
Sure networks are very helpful when you are inside the network. And yes networking is an awesome skill to have but what is the point of a network or a group of friends whose sole point is to make your life miserable and only when you are absolutely miserable will they try and include you in their “exclusive” circle.
Say no to such friends. They had no right to make you feel miserable or belittle you in anyway. Friends should make you feel happy not taunt and belittle you be it because of a cycle of dares or because they are trying to win some competition.
Such friends will leave you feeling angry and exhausted. Fuck them. They don’t deserve a place in your life.
I know people say that the best way to heal is to forgive and move on but sometimes when there are things that have occurred over the course of 4–5 years, is it really possible to just click your fingers and be like ya it’s fine, I forgive you? It’s only human to demand equitable justice for the way you have been treated whether you are inside or outside the network. And there is no point in undoing the wrongs when there is so much resentment especially when these so called “friends” won’t even openly admit to anything or apologize for their criminal behavior. And no somethings are not OK in the name of “bringing in rituals”.
I have previously written about bullying. Standing up to bullies can be difficult especially if it happens from within your close circle because your trusted family and friends are the last people you would think are behind this. But standing up to bullies no matter who they are is crucial for one’s mental health. In the end you do what you have to, to survive and just be and it is impossible to carry on silently because your “friends” may be playing cover up.
Silence is violence
Did these friends think of you while you were suffering? A simple open talk can clear out a lot but sometimes its impossible for some people to do that.
When you dance with the devil, the devil doesn’t change, but the devil changes you
You are known by the company you keep. Maybe the company has a stellar reputation because they have a huge network helping to play cover up. When friendships get to the point of “Thirteen Reasons Why”, is it really worth keeping those friends? Surely, your life is worth more than anything.
There was a group that was polyamorous and started a cycle of dares to cover it up which went completely out of hand and this went on for years and resulted in the the death of two people. Their deaths could have been avoided if the group had just openly talked. Sure the group had amazing times but at what cost?
